Communication Is Key: How To Make Difficult Conversations Easier

Telling members of your staff they are performing their jobs well is easy. Informing them that they need to improve? Well, that's another story, and it's hard to do. Sometimes, it can be so difficult to have these conversations that employers will avoid the situation at all costs.

It likely does not come as a surprise that the nature of the employer-employee relationship is key to a successful workplace. When an open and trusting relationship exists between the two parties, the employee is more likely to believe the feedback is coming from a desire to be helpful, even if they disagree with what their employer relays to them.

The scenario has a much different result in instances where circumstances are more adversarial, in which case the employee might perceive negative feedback as a personal attack. While it may never be easy to have these conversations, there are ways to make them easier.

Two colleagues having serious conversation
Prepare for conversations ahead of time

Plan what to say in advance, and when it comes time to discuss matters, take a balanced approach. Rarely is someone's performance solely negative, so make sure you also point out what the person does well. At the same time, while refraining from undermining people or causing them to feel inferior, do not attempt to make anyone's performance sound better than their true performance.

Be honest without making excuses for their performance or for how you feel about them. For example, telling someone they can improve their productivity may provoke them to push back and argue that they are already operating at their most productive state.

Think about the language you can use to soften feedback while still remaining honest. For example, try saying, "Do you think you could free up some time for your current project if you used Slack to communicate with your team rather than scheduling daily Zoom meetings?"

Frame the discussion realistically. Simultaneously, recognize that you cannot fully anticipate anyone else's reaction. Come up with a few scenarios in your mind based on your relationship with the person, and brainstorm some loosely crafted responses that you could potentially use with your employee.

For instance, how would you handle a situation where your employee starts crying in response to your feedback? What about if they aggressively contradict or combat what you say? Although meetings like these should ideally be held one-on-one, it might be better to request that a professional from your HR department attend the meeting as well.

Remember that timing is everything

Plan to have an in-person conversation to deliver the feedback you would like to offer your employee. Schedule the meeting at a time of day when you are typically more relaxed. Perhaps this might be over lunch or in the last hour of the workday.

Offer ongoing and regular feedback

Providing ongoing feedback is much more meaningful than extending insight on an annual or semiannual basis. Think about it this way: What do you do when your GPS shows a route that circumvents a traffic jam? You adjust your route because you trust that you will arrive at your destination sooner if you heed the warning and respond accordingly. The same is true in the workplace.

There is far more opportunity to improve if you receive regular guidance along the way, as opposed to receiving input regarding your career-related performance only once or twice per year. This is especially true if the feedback pertains to a specific project.

Maintain a professional demeanor during the meeting

Keep your feedback focused on your observations. Intentionally use "I" statements whenever possible as you do so. For example, consider saying, "I want to talk to you about …" rather than stating, "You missed your deadline again."

Do not color your comments with personal comments or assumptions. Instead, use your emotional intelligence to help you navigate the meeting, and it will make a world of difference.

Interested in learning more? Chat with a Connectify HR expert today.